Still too much thinking

Recently i don't know what's up with me. for the past 3months, i've been out almost everyday. Finally stopped that habit, at least not too often. haven't been out till late night since Sunday, so it's been four days now. however, i had a really busy day today at Uni. i only manage to sleep at about 5am. while lying down in bed, i felt hungry at roughly 3.30am. was so tempted to eat maggi(delicious in the mind), so then i got up and made myself maggi. but after cooking my maggi, eating it didn't seem as tasty as imagined. utility sut berkurangan? had maggi for the past few days too. after eating, played sudoku on my phone. n then read some archie comics. finally fell tired n slpt. Dady woke me up at 8+am. got ready for school. my class starts at 11am, but daddy wanted to take me to pay for my school fees so had to go early. had a rough 2hours of Teknik & Kemahiran Belajar, although did not have to present powerpoint for today. It was due to seeing others go through presentation and getting bombed by the lecturer. he's the opposite of lineant and extra kindhearted. so ya, you can imagine the pressure we had. maybe that's his way of making us work hard, so yeah, understood. just hopefully he won't be so hard on my group for our presentation that's yet to come. after that, had SPS Grand recital. was a great one indeed. enjoyed everyone's performance. The lecturers do have a lot of talent, same goes with students. i will try upload some of their performances if i can. will update you on that. Grand recital finish at about 5pm. i helped with carrying some instruments. will upload some of the instruments wen i get card reader's adapter. so tired after that. went to the music cubicle after that. mummy had already gone home so i had to wait for daddy to pick me instead, which was after his work. since i had so much spare time, i decided to practice my electone. praticed for a while, then my third year senior came in. chitchat with her for about 1/2-1hour. she's really nice. shared with her about music, what i should take as my minor for next semester. and we shared about our ex-es. didn't know she was dating one of our coursemates as well. *winks*
she invited me to join their orchestra practise starting from 7-10pm. so well, i agreed. called daddy. but i only stayed til 8.30/9pm. cos i din feel well. in the car, i expressed to daddy how i've been feeling lately. n yeah, i cried but i don't know why. daddy think it's cos im lonely or because Andrew B. psychoed me. haha. but daddy summed up that i might have slight depression or maybe too stressed with school. daddy thinks maybe i don't want to study. honestly, in me, im not sure if i want to or not. music studies is not as easy as what everyone might think. my school/faculty (School of Arts) is the busiest school in UMS. we often stay over school for practises. and yes, it is stressful. i didn't want to mention about quiting school. afterall, daddy had just paid my school fees. of course i didn't want make daddy sad or disappointed. i know daddy loves me so much. for that, i'll try my best, show daddy that im worth something. went home then. mummy cooked one of my favourites especially for me. fried sotong. little things like these shows mummy love me as well. now, how could i let my mummy down too right? i just know im BLESSED! i know God never forsakes me. He's always watching over me. this makes me want to come back to God more. At the hardest corners of my life, He's always been there to show me little things that represents His undying love and that He's never left me. i just wish i can fully break the wall that's a barrier from me to Him. working on it. God bless everyone! =)


No Greater Love




Draw Me Close