days and nights at school

before i blog, i'd just like to say that i don't have much time to come online lately. i don't have much time to chat or reply msgs. sorry.


sounds of music, sounds of laughter.
and chit chats at the corner of every music cubicles.
jalan-jalan and makan-makan.
studies of rush for examination papers.
movie nights at school with beloved friends.
never a left out space for loneliness and guilt.
happy smiles, a cheerful face, a pat on the shoulder.
a friendly greet, a sweet sound of welcome and comfort.
a little sun ray a day. a little brighter my life.
a new hope, a great journey ahead.


this all brought to me staying over at school. i feel so at home when i have them around me. i love their company. i love music. so about my days and nights.....
main objective daddy send me to school is to study. yes i have been studying. and yes i have een enjoying my time at school too. i stayed over last night n here i am blogging with my friend's laptop at school. yes it's 1.45am now. that means, im staying over school again. what i ejoy most here, is spending time with coursemates and seniors. they are a lovely bunch. what we do that's so interesting, we have movie nights at school, where Ed brought his LCD projector to school and we watched ghost movies. last night, we watched Ten Ways To See Ghosts (if i'm not wrong). the previous movie we watched was Phobia. quite interesting. the fun of it was watchng it with my dear friends. i can watch any movie at home any day, any time. but i'd rather choose to spend time at school with these lovely people. other thing we do is, go out to eat together. our seniors would take us out to eat, and yeah, we'll just chat away and enjoy each other's company. they cometimes jam together too, improvising songs. it nice to see people share the same interest and enjoy it with you.

崇拜 by Fish Leong

崇拜
作詞：陳沒　作曲：彭學斌　編曲：陳建騏


你的姿態你的青睞　我存在在你的存在
你以為愛就是被愛　你揮霍了我的崇拜

我活了　我愛了　我都不管了　心愛到瘋了恨到算了就好
了可能的　可以的　真的可惜了　幸福好不容易怎麼你卻不敢了呢

我還以為我們能　不同於別人
我還以為不可能的　不會不可能

你的姿態你的青睞　我存在在你的存在
你以為愛就是被愛　你揮霍了我的崇拜

風箏有風海豚有海　我存在在我的存在
所以明白　所以離開　所以不再為愛而愛　自己存在　在你之外



Pinyin Version, for bananas like me.


Chong Bai by Fish Leong

Ni de zhi tai Ni de qing lai

Wo chun zhai zhai ni de chun zhai

Ni yi wei ai Jiu shi bei ai

Ni hui huo le wo de chong bai

Wo huo le Wo ai le Wo dou bu guan le

Xin ai dao feng le hen dao suan le jiu hao le

Ke neng de Ke yi de Zhen de ke xi le

Xin fu hao bu rong yi zhen me ni que bu gan le ne

Wo hai yi we wo men neng bu tong yu bie ren

Wo hai yi wei bu ke neng de bu hui bu ke neng

Wo huo le Wo ai le Wo dou bu guan le

Xin ai dao feng le hen dao suan le jiu hao le

Ni de zhi tai Ni de qing lai

Wo chun zhai zhai ni de chun zhai

Ni yi wei ai Jiu shi bei ai

Ni hui huo le wo de chong bai

Feng zheng you feng Hai tun you hai

Wo chun zhai zhai wo de chun zhai

Suo yi ming bai Suo yi li kai

Suo yi bu zai wei qi er ai

Zhi ji chun zhai Zhai ni zhi wai

Loving My Music Peoples.

recently, i've been spending my free time at school. suppose to study though. right now blogging because i can't concentrate in my studies. borrowed my friend's laptop to blog to feel a bit more relaxed. i know music is a tough course and it gets intense. no pain no gain. but despite all the ups and downs, trials, success and failure, i know i'll have my coursemates, and dear koko jie jie seniors to guide me along the way. i love them all. FAMILY.

yesterday i was supposed to study at school again. but i spent some time with some coursemates at 1Borneo. then after that, i went back to the music cubicle. studied a bit. talked to Jeremia a bit. then some seniors came in. right at that time, i was studying for my Kadazandusun language. there was this word "tontolu" which meant Monday/egg in kadazandusun. then they teased and scolded Jeremia playfully, saying what's he teaching me? hahaha. since that word sounds quite close to another vulgar word. after that, some 2nd n 1st yr students, n Hei Ling invited me to go to ODEC, which is a part of UMS. i forgot what it stands for. i think it roughly stands for outdoor development centre if im not wrong. ODEC is very pretty. i like the beach there. we had so much fun on the swings. gosh. i've been naughty. well, after ODEC, i had my McD dinner. and Hei Ling, my 3rd yr senior, cooked maggi for me. i felt touched. then i continued with my studies a bit. but i guess it wasnt much. sigh. daddy phoned me and ask if i wanted him to come at 8pm. i ask him to extend the time to 10pm, daddy said for every "A" i score, he will rive me RM100. knowing all i did was enjoy at school. however, my friends, mix n adb called me out for a drink n supper at 9.30+ pm. they arrived around 10pm. we went to salim. i jus had plain water. then after that, went home straight. i reached home at roughly 11pm. that's roughly what i did yesterday.



no matter what's up ahead, not knowing how great or painful the future lies, i can smile and say that i'm not alone. i've got my family, friends and loved ones to back me up along the way. i don't need to be in a relationship to be happy and i hope to show all my friends who just broke up that the same goes with them too. you know who you are. God bless. ;)

Loving my uni life, music peoples.

i'll just share a bit of my past few days happenings. i don't really have much time blogging these few weeks due to exams. have been enjoying in uni life lately. yes it gets tough, yes, music is a really busy course to take. it take a lot of practice and skills. but having loved ones around me, makes me feel blessed. i have a great bunch of friends and seniors. my 3rd year seniors are going to graduate soon. and it does kick in a sad feeling but i'm proud of them. they just had their final recital, for orchestra song composition. their solo recital, last Friday. yes, it was a crucial and hectic moment for them, but they did great! really impressed and proud of them. we just had our MCP dinner last night. it was quite fun. the theme was rock.

because of MCP dinner, i went with 3 of my coursemates to wisma to buy theirs outfits last Thursday. i left UMS(padahal, my daddy wanted me to go to school to study for my exams. so don't tell my dad.) with them to go to KK. went to Yee Fung for their breakfast. it's famous for its laksa. i was a bit embarrassed because i had already went there with my daddy for breakfast before i went to UMS. after that we went shopping for their clothes. i had fun. after that we went back to UMS. then a while later, daddy arrived to pick me home. reaching home, i gto ready for Yoke Tin's birthday. celebrated her birthday at KKbox. unfortunatly i don't have pictures of that night. after that i went to play pool with Sam, Bobby, Sieh Lou & Mixson. was so funny playing with them. i do enjoy friendship with different groups.

Friday, i was busy at school. watch 3rd yr's solo final recital performance. after that, i studied for my kadazandusun language, my first exam paper coming this wednesday. Jeremia taught me a bit. after that went 3rd year's final recital practice. helped out a bit but daddy came to pick me not long after that. i spent the night at kkbox again. this time with bobby, samuel, mixson and his gf. i enjoy singing although i'm not good at it.

Saturday, watched 3rd yr's Orchestra composition. really impressed. imagined myself conducting my own orchestra 3yrs ahead. hehe. after that snapped pics with most of them. had prom that night. after tat went to atmosphere, yayasan sabah, with a bunch of my friends.

A little more relaxed, but more ahead.

Ah! had my last class and last presentation today. felt so much more relaxed after that. have been worried about my presentation for the past few days. now that its over, i feel burden is off my shoulders. however, it's study week. need to burn the midnight oil for study(or just go online? :x). my exam paper starts on 22nd of this month. i doubt i'll do well, but let's see what's in store for me. ;)

today i spent some time in the music cubicle with other course mates n seniors. boy, did i enjoy myself on the drums. it was a fun and funny experience. had a couple of guys teaching me. "tuk tuk tak.. tuk tuk tuk tak." that's what i learnt from Jeremia. heard David playing the tenor saxophone and Sam on the piano. that inspired me to learn the saxophone more. i'll try to convince my parents in getting me a saxophone. thinking of taking it as my minor. or maybe i should take vocal lessons? hopefully in the near future, i can create my own album. i don't intend to be famous, but i hope i can come up with my own album.


i took a survey on facebook today. it's entitled: Are you Still in Love with your Ex?

and the result was:

You're Almost there!
You're this close to complete freedom! Your attitude about your breakup is healthy and shows that you've put in the time and effort to move on with your life. Good for you! Are you dating again? Spending more time with your girl/guy friends? Enjoying your free nights to do your nails, or playing video games, watch reality TV, or just do as you please? We thought so. Sure, every once in a while you might think about him/her, but that's normal. You're moving on with your life and so is he/she.


i don't know how true these surveys are but at least it's an encouragement to help me get over it completely. ya. actually right now i'm more relaxed. i haven't cried over my ex- for a long time now. i may think of him sometimes, but it only goes to show that i ever cared. i still do care, but only as friends. i don't want to talk much about this. i'm just happy with everything lately.

somtimes it seems like life is going wrong, when we're all messed up with so many of life's challenges, we tend to give up and feel it's unfair why we're going through so much drama, while other's are having such a good time in life. but life's challenges only make us stronger. just ENDURE it(to cc, *winks. always say that to me). ya, in time, you'll realize that it has made a better you. so what if others have a luxurious life, and its so perfect? what's life without challenges? what are you with no achievements of your own? all your achievements are worth more than what money can buy. at least you are a something in life. what you've made of yourself, no one can take away. money? anyone can take it away any day. money is power in the world today? ya, but they can never be satisfied. don't live a life of money and greed. plant seeds of love and friendship. passion and career. that's what worth your time.

i'm not just any girl

So here's what's bothering me today.

don't ask me silly questions. don't think i'm just like any other girl that's easy to get. don't assume that you can take advantage of me. i've been through so much that's enough to open my eyes to the world. don't ask me for my number if we are not acquainted in any way. if you want my number you have to earn it. even if your intention is only for friendship. i'd rather you get to know me better before you do so. i do not like having Hi Bye Friends.

don't ask me for chance or don't say you love me if you don't mean it. don't expect a yes from me. things need steps and process. i won't give in easily. if i like you back, i don't intend to have a fast paced relationship. i like it slow and steady. don't take advantage of me.

don't ask me for a one night stand, hoping i'd say yes. i WILL turn your offer down. i'm not just any girl who likes to have fun without limits. i know my limit and please understand that. even if i'm in love or whatsoever with you, it's still NO. i may be full of surprises but i m not CHEAP.respect me please. love = respect.

Di-stress me please.

Due to late night sleeps, around 4 or 5am almost every night, i didn't have much sleep last night. probably had only 3 or 4 hrs of slp. today i had to wake up at about 8++am. i had class at 11am. thought i'd have powerpoint presentation. so got up early to get ready. took me about 1 hour to get dressed because had to wear formal clothing for our presentation. despite all that effort, our group wasn't chosen for today's presentation. sigh. all that preparation for nothing. during class, i received an sms from a friend. she asked if i was free or having lectures. i didn't have credit to reply. the moment i reached home (around 2pm), i called her immediately to ask her what was up. she told me she needed help in editing her drama script. so i agreed to help her. after all, i was the one who wrote the script for them so i kinda know the ups and downs of the drama script. we went to Yoyo. we finished at about 6pm. i reached home almost around 6.30pm. i rushed to get ready because my cousin told me he would be coming to pick me up at 7pm n he was on time. we went to citymall to have a quick walk and drink. his brother had guitar lessons n finished at 7.30pm. so yeah. after that we headed for my cousin's plc. i didn't realize my phone inbox was full. my phone was in my bag, on the bar counter of my cousin's plc. at about 9+pm, i realized Wendy msged me that there was violin practise which i did not now of, going on at that moment. it was too late for me to go. went for movies with my cousin and his students. then after that, we had supper around towering centre. it was about12am. suddenly received another msg from Wendy saying we had violin exam the next day. and performance on sat. so there will be rehaersal on friday. that instance, i felt like vomiting. all of a sudden, my head kept working. STRESS. i was already feeling very tired from not enough sleep and non-stop activities. in my head, i was thinking. omg. how to practise in the middle of the night? everyone is asleep. i know i wont be able to slp due to too much thinking and worrying about the exam. we are all stil new to learning violin. our lecturer expects us to know all three songs. he will randomly pick 2 songs out of the three to play for our exam. we only learnt 1 song fully. halfway learning through the second song. n the third not even started yet. class was even cancelled last week. most my friends don't even have music background. isn't it a little too much to expect from us? when i reached home, i called Wendy immediately to ask about tomorrow. was so sorry and guilty to have woken her up. she told me the exam should be about 7pm. that eased the stress a little. but still, i didn't think that would be enough time to learn through. i know right now i should lay down n try to get some sleep. hopefully that would work out for me. i can't imagine the work load that i'll go through when i wake up later. just wish us luck and may God bless us. thank you.